When the Byzantine Emperor Zeno died, he left no clear heir, his children having died in childhood. The only remaining members of his family were his wife, Ariadne, and a brother, named Longinus. Ariadne chose to remarry quickly, to a courtier named Anastasius, whom she preferred to Longinus. This man was proclaimed the new emperor. How could he be ruler? How could he not be! He is married to the Queen, he must be King!
This is the power afforded to women under a patriarchal society. To demonstrate which men are worthy of the respect and obedience of other men. Men judge their peers by their possessions and accomplishments. By their money, their cars, their jobs and their degrees. But the most valuable possession of all, the most impressive thing to gain, is the attention of a beautiful, important woman. A man sees another man with a beautiful woman at his side and thinks “He must be rich, he must have a huge dick, he must be a real man. I should listen to him, so I can become a real man too.” All men crave the admiration of other men, and this admiration is earned through sexual conquest. In the eyes of other men, one’s masculinity is affirmed through its opposite; that is to say, the masculine is that which attracts the feminine. The one who attracts a woman is therefore afforded the status of real man, and the one who fails to do so is something else.
Too much discourse around incels overlooks that sexuality is organized around the patriarchal tenet that sexual access to women is both men's birthright and a mandatory part of how they prove their masculinity. Incels do not want love or affection. They want masculine prestige.
— Anastasia ♀️ (@aletheia327) April 24, 2023
The incel realizes that his failure to fuck disempowers him in the eyes of other men, and makes him a spiritual eunuch. He is enraged by this and lashes out against … everyone, really, but especially against those women whom he believes to be “in his league,” his “looksmatches” in incel cant. These women were meant to be his ticket to the world of grown-ups and instead decided to chase Chad, or whatever, and left him stranded in perpetual boyhood.
What the incel does not realize, or perhaps refuses to realize, is that actual sex is not necessary for the conferment of status. The generals of Byzantium did not care to enter the imperial bedroom to confirm that Anastasius was really “laid in the purple.” It was enough that Ariadne, who was the empress, approved of him. And just as Ariadne, as empress, could make a man an emperor by her approval, a woman makes a boy into a man by her mere presence. In this way, a man might gain all the satisfaction of sex with a supermodel simply by appearing in public with her, allowing other men to assume that it happened.
when i had her on my arm at the castle i felt invincible, i felt ten feet tall, and it's true that i thoroughly enjoyed her company but what i was perhaps enjoying more was imagining other people looking at us and wondering who the fuck i was to be with a 10 like her
— Teen Heartthrob QC (8/10 Substack, 9/10 singing) (@QiaochuYuan) February 25, 2023
If she realizes this, the beautiful important woman has a great power indeed: the power to confer power. And the power to confer power should not be understated. It is, after all, the foundation of democracy to believe in the importance of choosing your ruler. Longinus, had he become emperor, would have made different choices, steered the empire completely differently than Anastasius eventually did.
But in exercising the power afforded to her by Patriarchy, Ariadne reaffirmed it. To remarry was to accept her role as mere consort, not ruler herself. Some would say that Ariadne had no true power at all, because she was ultimately subordinate to the real decision-maker. This misunderstands the nature of power. To have power is to shape the world to your will. Ariadne still shaped the world to her will, and was therefore very powerful indeed. It was merely a contingent power, requiring her acquiescence to the conditions of Patriarchy. But all power is contingent, even the Emperor’s. For the Emperor only rules as long as the army obeys him, and the army only obeys the Emperor as long as he accepts his role in keeping them fed and paid. Likewise, the beautiful important woman makes a Faustian bargain as she takes the power offered to her. She reaffirms the patriarchy, and in exchange may choose the patriarch. In doing so, she also throws her sisters under the bus.
I don’t mean to tell you that you can’t view Ariadne as a proto-feminist icon if you want to. I’m as much a pragmatist as they come - I understand that you play the hand you’re dealt, and Ariadne played her hand as best she could. We can’t know her inner thoughts of course; classical historians were not thorough in detailing the opinions of women of their time. But whether she secretly longed to throw off men’s chains or not, she still played her role in the patriarchy of her time.